ReWrite  Can't Be Happening
by kagschannold
Summary: What does Cloud do when the one person he has ever trusted leaves him?
1. Chapter 1

**Re-W: Can't be Happening**

**Info: a Re-Write of my One-Shot, made into a short chapter story.**

_Summary: Cloud doesn't want to believe it, but he has to face the truth. How can he go on without the one person he ever loved, ever trusted? Angst. ZackxCloud S._

Birthdays.

They were a time for celebrating, a time to look back and wonder how you survived those three-hundred sixty-five days. Sometimes the most anticipated, and the most exciting day of someone's life. For others… it was merely another Monday, Tuesday… or whenever.

Birthdays to Cloud, well… birthdays to his _mom_ were big occasions. Cloud got to see the people he loved, got to have cake, and then open gifts he probably didn't need. That was just how his mother planned them, every year, no matter how old Cloud was or how mature. She always took it upon herself to throw him a party.

Cloud's phone buzzed wildly on the pillow next to him, but he lay there, trying to ignore it the best he could. Who ever was calling, surely wasn't willing to drop it and leave him alone.

Whatever _it_ was.

Cloud slipped out of his kip, and stretched his aching arms above his head reluctantly. The floor was cold beneath Cloud's feet, making chills crawl up his skin and then back down. His stomach churned in circles, and a nauseating feeling rose high in his throat, but he didn't feel sick. Not hardly.

Something felt terribly off all of a sudden, and Cloud couldn't figure out what it was.

When Cloud got out of the bed, he stumbled, and lost his balance against the closet door. He grasped the door knob for leverage, hoping that he wouldn't fall.

Cloud never lost his balance.

"_Cloud, are you okay up there?_" Mrs. Strife asked from the bottom of the stairs.

Cloud turned his head, and inhaled a breath.

"Yeah. I tripped. I'll be down in a minute."

"_Okay, dear._" She said to her son, before he pushed himself into the bathroom and closed the door.

He stood in front of the mirror for at least three minutes, trying to blink the exhaustion from his eyes. The boy became bewildered by the anxiousness that was creeping inside of his bones. It pulsated, ached, and made him itch.

What could be so wrong tonight?

Cloud shook his head and turned on the sink. The running water drowned out the sound of rain by only a little. Cloud stared at it for a moment, then delved in and closed his blue eyes. With his hands, he threw cold water over rosy red cheeks. It felt so icy cold, and it took the breath from Cloud's lungs.

Not shortly after, did he hear the constant buzzing occur once more.

Cloud groaned out of annoyance, and went to the phone without even attempting to dry his face.

Fifteen voicemails. Five texts.

The worry in his stomach increased as Cloud read each text. Something was more than off… something was completely and utterly wrong.

New Text Message

From: Yuffie Kisaragi

You need to call me back now.

Sent: 7: 45pm

New Text Message:

From: Aerith Gainsborough

He has to see you…

Sent: 7: 30pm

New Text Message

From: Aerith Gainsborough

Cloud? Are you OK?

Sent: 7: 06pm

New Text Message

From: Yuffie Kisaragi

Cloud fucking Strife, this is no time to avoid your phone!

Sent: 7: 03pm

New Text Message

From: Yuffie

Emergency.

Sent: 6: 50pm

The clock on the wall read 8:30. Cloud swallowed hard the lump that formed in his throat, and he hesitated listening to the voicemails.

The first one was from Zack, who could barely be heard from all the static and wind around him. Figures he would be driving down the road while trying to call. The message was normal, from what Cloud _did_ get to hear, but in the middle of a sentence, Cloud heard an indescribable noise, followed by the sound of something screeching.

The message cut off then.

_I don't guess I need to worry about that… He could have been anywhere._

By the time Cloud went to listen to the others, his phone vibrated in his palm. He pulled it away from his ear, and saw Yuffie's name flash across the screen.

If she had any more right to yell at the blonde, it would have to be now.

"Yuf-"

/_Do you have any fucking idea how pissed off I am?_/ She interrupted, her voice worn out and scratchy.

Cloud flinched, "Is everything okay? I was listening to my voicemails, and-"

/_Oh, were you?_/ She hesitate, took a breath and sobbed a little, /_Cloud… I don't have time to scream at you. You need to come to the hospital. Now._/

"What happened?_" _

/_It's Zack…_/

The pounding coming from his chest went to his ears and then further into his temples. Cloud felt a tighter knot forming in his stomach. Zack…

/_He was in a really bad accident, Cloud… You have to get here… Fast._/

After that, Cloud's whole body was numb.

He dropped the phone at his feet, and stood for moments, thinking about it. Zack… Zack was in the hospital, and Yuffie was urging him to get there fast.

In reality, that could only mean one thing.

That he didn't have long before…

_I didn't answer the phone… I could have already been there. Cloud screamed in his head._

He snapped back to his senses then, and rushed over to the dresser to pull out a pair of black jeans. He had no time for anything else, and he slipped his boots on the wrong feet before dashing down the stairs quicker than he could ever imagine.

* * *

><p>Cloud couldn't remember the last time he'd ever driven as fast as he had on the way to the hospital.<p>

Mrs. Strife had rode with him, sitting in the passenger's seat without any complaint towards how reckless the blonde was being. Especially after Cloud explained to her the situation.

Zack was dying.

At the Emergency Room entrance, she told the nurses that she was Zack's mother, and that they needed to get in Intensive Care Unit to see him.

They asked no further, but Cloud had already pushed through the double doors and buzzed himself in.

At the sitting area, Cloud ran into Yuffie, Aerith, and Sephiroth. They were sitting together, Aerith leaning against the silver-haired man for comfort. Yuffie turned her head at the sound of the doors, and then jumped up looking at her friend.

She greeted him with tears, and a sad smile.

Cloud hoped he hadn't been too late.

"I'm so glad you're here, Cloud… he's been asking for you…" Yuffie told the blonde.

Cloud shuddered, "Is he still…"

"He said he wasn't going anywhere until he saw you first."

"Where…?"

Yuffie pointed to the room across from the hallway bench.

The doors opened again, and Mrs. Strife walked in and called out to her son, pleading with the boy not to go anywhere else without her.

It had been too late, though.

Cloud opened the door to Zack's ICU stay, and walked briskly to the blue-tinted gray curtains. With a shaking hand, Cloud pulled back those curtains, and looked upon his best friend.

"Cl…Cloud."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two:**

Machines.

Machines were all around the room, plugged into walls, plugged into the ceiling, and plugged into the bruised arm attached to Zack. Life support.

Zack had asked to be put on life support until Cloud got there, and he could say his good-byes.

Cloud didn't like the thought of it, but he couldn't avoid the fate that stared him in the face.

Around Zack's head, were bloodied bandages in need of changing. He suffered numerous bruises, but none of them accounted for the rose blossoming on his chest. His broken, shallow breathing chest.

Cloud choked.

"Ch…Chocobo. Is that you?" Zack asked, too weak to turn his head or move his arm in the slightest. "Cloud?"

The blonde was having trouble getting air to his lungs the more he looked at his best friend. Zack was so strong, he was a fighter, and never once had Cloud seen him weak. It was such a tragic difference. The one thing that hadn't been damaged was Zack's ability to fight.

Zack fought… just for Cloud.

That, itself, brought stinging tears to Cloud's eyes.

"Hey… are you mute now?" Zack joked, laughing.

Cloud gasped the moment Zack did, reaching to grab his chest and cough.

The rose blossomed more upon Zack's chest. He coughed so much that Cloud was worried he was going to be gone that moment.

"Ah.. It doesn't seem funny, now… Does it?" Zack asked hypothetically. He knew the answer to that question as much as anyone else.

Cloud slowly stepped closer to the bed, listening to the machines as they beeped continuously. He met up at the side, and felt Zack take hold of his fingers. His hands weren't warm, but they were neither cold. They felt soft, like they always did.

The grip was still strong. The reassurance wasn't.

"What… what…" Cloud choked.

Zack shook his head, "You know… you always told me not to drink and drive." he began, "It never occurred to me that I shouldn't call and drive either."

The smile was faint. Soon, Zack knew that Cloud would figure it out on his own.

Cloud clenched his jaw.

The voicemail.

It clicked in Cloud's mind.

Zack wrecked while leaving him a voicemail. It was the sound of a car horn in the background that Cloud hadn't been able to make out, and the static got worse… when he crashed. Whatever else Cloud heard in that voicemail wasn't anything good, he was sure of that now…

He was just sure of what he heard. Cloud couldn't handle the news. He couldn't process why his best friend was telling him either. Cloud could have went on not knowing how Zack ended up in his accident.

Cloud was blaming himself at that moment, and he rest his head on Zack's shoulder.

Zack used his other arm, with as much potency as he could muster, and laid it across so he could run his fingers through those blonde spikes.

"I'm still going to be with you, Chocobo." he murmured.

Cloud jerked his head up, "don't talk like that… Why are you talking like it's the end?"

"Cloud… It is…"

"You can't do this…"

"But… I am." Zack looked sad, and there were hints of tears in his blue eyes, just as much as there were in Cloud's. He was scared. Zack didn't want to die at such a young age… but in the end, Zack knew that it was his own fault… Had he only taken in consideration all the consequences.

It had to be on that day… of all days. _Cloud's birthday_.

Cloud shook his head violently, glancing over the blood-stained bandages, and sheets that Zack was enveloped in. There was no lying to what Zack was trying to tell Cloud.

"Cloud… I'm dying. I won't be here tomorrow, or… the next day…" he hitched in a breath. Zack was sweating, "The other driver… was kill…killed _instantly_."

"You're giving up too easily."

"And… you're stubborn."

"Don't leave me."

Zack chuckled, "N-not my place to decide that."

"After all you've been through, Zack?" Cloud shouted, tearing his hand out of Zack's. "You never let anything touch you, and then you die like that? You expect me to believe this?"

"Cloud… you're not thinking… clearly." Zack said placidly.

The blonde turned for a moment, as if he were to leave the room without another word. Zack watched him with a straight face, and flinched slightly when he spun around on his heel and threw the cup of ice chips against the wall.

Cloud's eyes were overflowing with tears, becoming rimmed with a light red tint.

Time was slipping by… and Zack was slipping away.

He could barely breathe without sweat trickling down his temple from exhaustion.

Cloud saw Zack grow more weary by the second, and all previous feelings of anger left him at that moment. Hurriedly, he jumped back to the side of Zack's bed, and clasped he ice-cold metal bar that went halfway down, preventing Zack from moving too far.

"Z-Zack." Cloud whimpered.

He lifted Zack partially out of the bed and into his arms as he hunched over the bed. He was going to make Zack stand. Zack moaned helplessly as the boy did so, and tried to talk Cloud back into reality.

But Cloud didn't listen. He didn't want him to die.

Ultimately gravity took over in spite of Cloud's attempts, and they both toppled onto the tiled floor. Zack fell on his back, and upon impact, the machines went buzzing, whirring wildly in the room. The cry that left Zack when they fell rang in Cloud's ears. It was a cry that would end up living with Cloud forever.

Cloud was defeated… knowing that at any moment, he would be the only soul left in the room.

Cloud sat there, then, and held Zack as close as he possibly could in the floor.

Zack breathed sharp, "Y…you have to move on, Cloud."

The tears were more than he could handle, as were the sobs spilling out of his throat one after another, "No." Cloud cried.

Zack nodded lazily, "Yes." he persisted, "You have to."

"I can't."

"Tell my stories." he smiled.

Cloud cried more, pressing his forehead against Zack's wet one. He was sweating so much, but he was clammy, and trembling.

Zack shivered, and sucked in, as if a rush of pain shot through him suddenly. He coughed violently, Cloud watching in fear the moment blood trickled from the corner of his lips.

"Promise me." Zack pleaded.

"Z-… Zack… don't."

"Pr..omise me, Cloud."

There was a single thread of life left in Zack's body. He struggled to breathe, struggled more to hang onto that thread. Cloud knew he would be gone the moment he promised… he didn't want it to happen, but he knew. And it killed him to think about what would happen next.

Laying there in the floor, Cloud squeezed Zack to his chest, and cried pitifully. Zack was smiling, wincing, begging.

Cloud needed to let go.

"Promise… me… If you love me."

"I do." Cloud sobbed.

Zack nodded, and stretched his arm one last time to brush knuckles across the skin of Cloud's right cheek.

Cloud sputtered, whined, and touched Zack's fingers, "I… promise. I promise, Zack… I promise."

They lay there for another few seconds in which Zack captured Cloud's lips and kissed them faintly. Cloud responded as best as he could, and continued far after Zack's lips came to a stop.

Cloud refused to believe it… and he wouldn't. It had to be a dream, a terrible nightmare that he would wake up from.

Surely…

_It has to be!_

Cloud clung to Zack's now lifeless body, and rocked back and forth like a child. Zack was gone… He was gone, and when Cloud opened his eyes to try and wake himself up… He couldn't deny the truth that it wasn't a dream.

The sobs were frantic, relentless, and merciless. Cloud yelled at the top of his lungs to the ceiling, while still holding his best friend in his lap.

Nurses came in, followed by Cloud's mother, who dropped to her knees and told Cloud he needed to leave the room with her.

Cloud refused.

It broke her heart to see him crying so much.

"Baby… he's not here anymore… Please…" Mrs. Strife said, pulling her son's arm.

The nurses had taken Zack out of Cloud's embrace forcefully. Cloud stayed in the floor, crying.

Mrs. Strife gave up on her attempts, and called on Sephiroth.

The silver-haired man grabbed Cloud underneath his arms, and hoisted him onto his feet. Cloud wouldn't walk, and he wouldn't respond to anything else going on around him.

Not Aerith's voice, or Yuffie's embraces. Nothing could comfort him.

Not after losing the one person that ever meant anything to him…

**I hated writing this chapter :( please drop a review if you can!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three: Epilogue: Moving On**

_Cloud's POV._

The week directly after Zack's funeral, I went to school, absentminded, and oblivious to almost anything around me. Nothing looked normal like it had a month ago. The trees were different, the people were different. _I _was different.

Every one I went to school with knew what had happened when I came back. I couldn't go anywhere without someone trying to show their sympathy, their concern.

I didn't want pity, and I didn't want them to look at me with those distraught, devastated stares.

Yuffie went to school as well, but when she came up to greet me, she immediately walked away, and cried to her boyfriend, Vincent. She knew, and she'd seen.

I was like a shell still pressing on despite my every will.

The fibers of my being were crying out and screaming for me to fall on my knees and let it hit me.

I hadn't cried since the night Zack died in my arms. I felt nothing the next day, and at the funeral, I watched the gravedigger cover Zack with six feet of dirt and mud.

It was raining that day too.

My mom begs me to talk to her at dinner, but I never do. Eating has become too much of a hassle for me lately.

Apparently, when I sleep, I scream, and I toss in my bed violently.

That's what she tells me, but I can't bring myself to remember anything about it. It was true when I realized that Zack was gone, that I would never be able to go on without him. I was becoming this person that I never imagined. He was this cold person. A person that refused to feel anything.

I hated what I was becoming, but it'd already taken me so far over that I coped by staring at white walls.

I scribbled on lined paper, and I wrote down all of what Zack used to tell me. I told his stories in my spiral notebooks, and I held them close to me for hours on end just to pass the time. I wanted to publish them, and let every one know just how truly amazing of a person my best friend was when he was alive.

Every time I went to turn those words in… I stopped myself in my tracks and hid in my room to read them over.

Those words… there on the paper now plastered on my walls… were my words. They were the first things and last things Zack ever told _me. _The heartless soul I was slowly becoming questioned my thoughts of sharing them… and ultimately destroyed those thoughts.

I _wouldn't_ share.

They were _mine_. They were _**ours**__._

When I sat myself down in the first class, I stared straight at the blackboard that wasn't in fact black, and held tight to the edge of the desk.

My classmates turned in their chairs to look at me, staring… burning holes deep into me with their sorrow.

I tried to ignore them, but nausea started settling in.

Unequivocally, I looked to my right to see an empty desk.

_Zack's_ desk.

I felt myself slipping. I felt everything slam into my chest like a bullet. It hurt… and it twisted my every inside until it was in a deformed knot. Zack… he would no longer be there next to me to keep me going.

He wasn't in the classroom, and he wasn't going to be there when I got home to study.

He would no longer be able to smile at me. And he wouldn't be there anymore to brighten up someone's day.

I ran from the classroom then, and bolted out into the bus parking lot.

I envisioned myself in the same place Zack was when he wrecked.

There were the cars, and him driving oh so casually down the interstate towards my house. He reached for his phone in his pocket. That's when I screamed out his name.

I screamed. I shouted, I ran… I was running toward a mirage, toward something that I knew subconsciously wasn't there.

In my illusion, Zack was calling me, and I heard everything…

"_Chocobo! I'm on my way to your house… and I was hoping you would have answered this before I got there… Cloud… I love you. I wanted you to know that, okay? I couldn't wait until I saw you to tell you. You don't know how-" _

The car horn sounded.

And it was the end of my illusion.

I caught my breath, and dropped to my knees against the lot.

Zack would never be able to tell me he loved me to my face.

This… can't be happening… to me…


End file.
